Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
