I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't deserve a penis
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize