is your mom at the bar?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize