Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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