apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
