What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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