I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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