he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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