didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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