i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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