my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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