Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
