I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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