Just cropdusted the office
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
