guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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