Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize