I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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