Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
