So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
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I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
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By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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