i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I've blown a few things in my day
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
