The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
