ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
