my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
we made out on top of his cat.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Verdict: uncircumcised.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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