If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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