i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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