How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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