im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
