You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
