I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
