I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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