she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize