Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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