just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
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