I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
NoShamevember. You game?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize