no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
