Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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