i think my mom watched the whole time
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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