I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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