i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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