I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
It's official drugs can't kill me
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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