There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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