Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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