We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
