He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
