Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
