The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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