its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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