worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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