you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
