OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
