You're my little dorito
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
