If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize