woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
