before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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