So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
