apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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