You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
