I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize