You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
