Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My vagina just clenched in fear
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
