whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
