Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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