im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
