who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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