I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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